I imagine that in your heaven you are free of pain. There’s no weird machines or tubes coming out of you. You aren’t sad or hurting in anyway. You’re peaceful and happy and content.
I imagine that in your heaven there’s endless chocolate cake and ice-cream. Like unlimited toppings at Cold Stone or a place where they wouldn’t dare weigh your creation, like they do at Yogurt Land, whatever you want, they put it on, free of charge.
I imagine that your heaven has Starbucks and Target open 24 hours a day. You can get a pumpkin spice latte year round, and you never have to worry about the extra calories you consume in those drinks. Nobody at Target asks you if you want to open up a Target Card and you don’t have to hide whatever you buy in the garage.
I imagine that in your heaven you can spend your time laughing and chatting with your mom and dad, catching them up on everything that’s happened since they’ve left us. You spend your days making new friends and sharing stories with others.
I imagine that somehow in your heaven you get to enjoy some crepes under the Eiffel Tower, a dream of yours you never got to fulfill because you were taken from our world too soon.
I imagine that somehow in your heaven, whenever I try to talk to you from here, you hear your phone ringing and you drop whatever you’re doing to listen to me. I imagine you can hear every word I say when I’m talking to you.
I imagine that sometimes in your heaven, you’re able to come and hang out with me me, to watch the sunset with me or sit with me when I’m missing you.
It’s been a year but you are still the first person I want to tell when something exciting happens in my life. You’re still the first person I think of whenever I need to talk to someone. You’re still the best advice giver, the most stylish fashionista and my foremost role model.
Somehow this past year, even though you haven’t been around, you’ve still been an encouraging force in my life. Your spirit has inspired me to be positive, your compassion has influenced me to love others, your memory has motivated me to be the best version of myself, your faith has encouraged me to seek God when I need help, your selflessness has shaped me to be more giving, your belief in me as led me to believe in myself and your perseverance has energized me to never give up.
It’s been an unbearable year without you, mom, but one day we’ll be together in your heaven. Until then.