I went through a phase when I was a little girl where if you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would say “the president of the United States of America.” I knew nothing of politics but I knew that there had never been a woman president. I wanted to be the first.
This phase didn’t last long, as my next big idea was to play football, which was also short lived as I wasn’t eligible due to my uterus and because my mom feared I would get hurt (which may be true, but I was a BIG girl back then).
When I excelled in softball, I begged my dad to let me play baseball on his team so I could play against the boys.
In junior high, I took a specific count of how many boys I could beat in PE fitness testing and which boys I could throw a shot-put farther than (most of them).
In high school, a perfect score on a chemistry exam put your name up on the wall, and I sure as hell made sure that there was a female nerd up on that list amongst all the male nerds.
Anyway, what I am trying to get at is my entire life was fueled by this competition within myself to prove that I could do anything (better than) the guys could do it. So obviously, when I found out Hilary Clinton would be running for president of the United States I felt validated that my little dream of having a female president wasn’t just a dream, but it was an actual possibility (plus it took the pressure off me so I don’t have to run for president…).
So now lets fast forward to present day:
This phase didn’t last long, as my next big idea was to play football, which was also short lived as I wasn’t eligible due to my uterus and because my mom feared I would get hurt (which may be true, but I was a BIG girl back then).
When I excelled in softball, I begged my dad to let me play baseball on his team so I could play against the boys.
In junior high, I took a specific count of how many boys I could beat in PE fitness testing and which boys I could throw a shot-put farther than (most of them).
In high school, a perfect score on a chemistry exam put your name up on the wall, and I sure as hell made sure that there was a female nerd up on that list amongst all the male nerds.
Anyway, what I am trying to get at is my entire life was fueled by this competition within myself to prove that I could do anything (better than) the guys could do it. So obviously, when I found out Hilary Clinton would be running for president of the United States I felt validated that my little dream of having a female president wasn’t just a dream, but it was an actual possibility (plus it took the pressure off me so I don’t have to run for president…).
So now lets fast forward to present day:
“Do you know what day tomorrow is the United States of America?” I asked a class of 5th and 6th graders on Monday morning.
One of the boys shouted out “TUESDAY!” I set myself up for that…. and I probably gave him a little too much encouragement because I proceeded to laugh at his comment for the next couple of minutes while the entire class stared at me like I was a crazy person. Other students offered their answers as well, “Thanksgiving, Independence Day, Christmas…..” amused, I let them keep guessing for a little bit before I surrendered the answer.
Finally, I told them “Tomorrow is our election day, where we will vote for the next president of our country,” I focused in on my group of girls sitting in the front of the room and continued on my little speech about how for the first time in history, a woman was in the running as our presidential candidate and how monumental this was, that a woman could hold this position and represent our country. I was proud that I could share with them the news of our “forward-thinking” country and let them see how “progressive” life can be with a government that isn’t corrupt their like own. I wanted them to know that democracy can work, and that race, gender, and class do not matter.
Well, to say I got a little a ahead of myself would be an understatement.
I wasn’t lying to them. America did elect their president, Americans throughout the country chose who they wanted to represent us, but unfortunately they did not choose Hilary Clinton.
At first, I was embarrassed to have to bike back into my site the following day. I (among the other two volunteers in our town of Arroyos) did not want to go outside and face the Paraguayans out there, as the “token Americans” we would have to answer all their questions about Donald Trump, was he really building a wall? was he really going to exile anyone not “American” from our country? was he really going to get rid of our health care system? was he really a sexist and a racist? did he really sexually assault a bunch of young girls? was he planning on stealing money from the government? did he buy his votes?
All of these questions, although some seem absurd, are actual questions I’ve heard. When I had to explain to people that Trump would become our new president, they all assumed it was fraud. They truly believe that he bought his votes, and that our government was corrupt. I tried to explain that this wasn’t what happened and that the voters all voted on their own, and they chose Trump. They couldn’t understand this, or believe that this is really what happened. I don’t know what is worse, letting them believe that our government is corrupt like theirs, or letting them believe that the American voters actually did choose Donald Trump to be the president of the United States.
For the sake of this blog post, (and to not drone on and on and on and on and on….) I’m going to leave it at this:
I do not have to LIKE Donald Trump, nor do I have to agree with him, BUT I do have to represent America while I am over here in Paraguay, and I do have to support my country. I can joke around with my friends and family here about marrying a Paraguayan and never having to come home and face the fact that Trump is our president or I can just sit around and complain to everyone who asks that Trump is a horrible man, but what good does that do?
I have to have faith that America isn’t giving up hope, that we will continue to progress, that we will continue to fight for the rights of women, immigrants, those of the LGBTQ community and everyone else that’s been offended by Donald Trump and those like him.
I tell the Paraguayans that ask me that about our new president that it’s only four years, and the rest of Americans are going to keep on keeping on, doing everything that they can to make sure that our country continues to move forward. Although it terrifies me that there’s so much that can change while I’m gone, I have to stay positive and spread the love over here instead of the hate.
One of the boys shouted out “TUESDAY!” I set myself up for that…. and I probably gave him a little too much encouragement because I proceeded to laugh at his comment for the next couple of minutes while the entire class stared at me like I was a crazy person. Other students offered their answers as well, “Thanksgiving, Independence Day, Christmas…..” amused, I let them keep guessing for a little bit before I surrendered the answer.
Finally, I told them “Tomorrow is our election day, where we will vote for the next president of our country,” I focused in on my group of girls sitting in the front of the room and continued on my little speech about how for the first time in history, a woman was in the running as our presidential candidate and how monumental this was, that a woman could hold this position and represent our country. I was proud that I could share with them the news of our “forward-thinking” country and let them see how “progressive” life can be with a government that isn’t corrupt their like own. I wanted them to know that democracy can work, and that race, gender, and class do not matter.
Well, to say I got a little a ahead of myself would be an understatement.
I wasn’t lying to them. America did elect their president, Americans throughout the country chose who they wanted to represent us, but unfortunately they did not choose Hilary Clinton.
At first, I was embarrassed to have to bike back into my site the following day. I (among the other two volunteers in our town of Arroyos) did not want to go outside and face the Paraguayans out there, as the “token Americans” we would have to answer all their questions about Donald Trump, was he really building a wall? was he really going to exile anyone not “American” from our country? was he really going to get rid of our health care system? was he really a sexist and a racist? did he really sexually assault a bunch of young girls? was he planning on stealing money from the government? did he buy his votes?
All of these questions, although some seem absurd, are actual questions I’ve heard. When I had to explain to people that Trump would become our new president, they all assumed it was fraud. They truly believe that he bought his votes, and that our government was corrupt. I tried to explain that this wasn’t what happened and that the voters all voted on their own, and they chose Trump. They couldn’t understand this, or believe that this is really what happened. I don’t know what is worse, letting them believe that our government is corrupt like theirs, or letting them believe that the American voters actually did choose Donald Trump to be the president of the United States.
For the sake of this blog post, (and to not drone on and on and on and on and on….) I’m going to leave it at this:
I do not have to LIKE Donald Trump, nor do I have to agree with him, BUT I do have to represent America while I am over here in Paraguay, and I do have to support my country. I can joke around with my friends and family here about marrying a Paraguayan and never having to come home and face the fact that Trump is our president or I can just sit around and complain to everyone who asks that Trump is a horrible man, but what good does that do?
I have to have faith that America isn’t giving up hope, that we will continue to progress, that we will continue to fight for the rights of women, immigrants, those of the LGBTQ community and everyone else that’s been offended by Donald Trump and those like him.
I tell the Paraguayans that ask me that about our new president that it’s only four years, and the rest of Americans are going to keep on keeping on, doing everything that they can to make sure that our country continues to move forward. Although it terrifies me that there’s so much that can change while I’m gone, I have to stay positive and spread the love over here instead of the hate.