Sometimes I’m at a loss of words as to how I can possibly explain to my friends and family how different the life is here in Paraguay. Instead of trying to explain parts of it, let me fill you in on a couple common situations I go through here.
By far, the most common questions I get (and usually one of the first questions) is “Are you married?” “Do you have kids?” and/or “Do you have a boyfriend?”
The other evening I was walking home from church with two girls in my community, both of them were in the 5th grade. They asked me if I was married, and when I told them no, they immediately asked “WHY NOT?” I was unsure how to answer that. They didn’t drop the topic easily, and were sure to mention that it was weird that I was "so old" and unmarried. I tried to do my best Queen B imitation and tell them that I can live independently and I’m a strong ass woman who don’t need no man to live with. They weren’t following me.
In the U.S. you would never ask an unmarried woman why she was unmarried, and usually one of the first questions you would ask someone when you meet them is “what do you do?” or “where do you work?” It is so strange to everyone that I meet that I am not already married and that I am here all alone whereas in the states, it is completely normal for a 23 year old to be unmarried.
Another question I’ve received from multiple people in Curupayty is “Aren’t you afraid to live alone?” and “Won’t you get lonely?”
My extended family was visiting over Mother’s Day Weekend and we were all sitting out on the porch passing around terere. I was talking to them about Peace Corps and explaining a little more how it all works here in Paraguay. I mentioned that it’s an added bonus that in Paraguay all the volunteers have the option to live independently after 3 months in their community. At that point, we looked across the street, where we could see the house that I’m planning on moving into in clear view and my uncle asked me “Aren’t you scared?” I was confused as to what I would be afraid of, the house was in clear view from my host family, has a gate enclosing it and is directly next to the community center. I told them that no, I was looking forward to having a little house of my own. And again, I was prompted with “WHY?”
Well gosh, I don’t know why. But that’s what all of us volunteers want. We like having our own personal space and spending time alone reading, doing yoga, cooking, etc. We want to be alone and have time to prep for our classes and take some time to write in our journal (or update the blog).
But here in Paraguay, if I spend too much time sitting in my room my family gets worried that I’m not happy here. If I sit out on the porch and read a book they will immediately come sit with me because they worry that I’ll be lonely by myself. If I’m out doing yoga, they will inform me that it’s “snack time” and I should join my family to drink cocido and pan or they may think something is wrong because I’m not eating.
I think I’ve mentioned the biggest difference here in Paraguay is the “tranquilopa” (calm, chill, tranquil) lifestyle, but I don’t think I’ve actually really explained it before. Here’s some examples with how “chill” Paraguay can be:
-You can walk into a health post, with licensed doctors and nurses in the middle of the day during business hours, and they will invite you in to have terere with them. You can sit and chat with them and ask them any questions you want about the health post, and that’s that. No appointments necessary, you can just walk in and talk to anyone (if you’re lucky and they showed up that day!)
-You can walk into a school, have a couple conversations with the directora, and they will give you a class to teach.
-When its raining really hard, and the dirt roads are turning into mud, you don’t have to worry about going to school because it’s cancelled. Don’t worry, the rain will pass and tomorrow you can go to school. No need to make it up another time, just take the day to get some stuff done at home and drink lots of mate.
-There are no bus stops. You wanna hop on a bus? Just hold your arm out and one will stop in front of you. You wanna get off? Just ring the bell and the bus will stop. The downside to this is the bus driver is super chill as well, and will most likely make a stop or two of his own to refill the water in his termos for his terere, chat with his friends, or whatnot.
-When you walk down the street, you stop and say hi to ALL of your neighbors when you pass. It can take awhile to get anywhere so it’s a good thing nobody is too worried about being on time….
-You’re having a meeting at 2? Yeah people may show up around 2:30.
I could go on and on, but I’m sure you get the point by now….things in Paraguay are very different from the United States, and I’m not just talking about the food and the weather, I’m talking about the attitudes, upbringings, and beliefs of the people and how it shapes their lives. I’m not saying one is better than the other either, I’m just trying to make note of these differences and hopefully better explain my life here.