TOP 5 HABITS I want to take with me:
Whenever you walk into a room full of people, you can’t just say “Hi!” and take a seat. No, no, no! That is very, very rude. You have to go up to every single person in the room and say good afternoon or good morning or whatever it is, give them a hug, and two kisses on their cheeks. Make sure you say their name, ask them how it’s going and/or ask about somebody in their family as well. Then onto the next person, and don’t get stuck on one person for too long because you gotta make your rounds in a timely manner or you’ll be considered rude for not greeting every one right when you came in.
At first, this used to drive me crazy. I had anxiety walking into a room full of people because I knew I had to go make my rounds. I also had anxiety whenever somebody else would come into a room because I would know they were coming over to me and I had to remember their name so I could greet them.
Now, this is completely normal to me and something that I realized is extremely important here in Paraguay. I think this would be a good habit to attempt to bring back with me when I get home. It is important to take the time to acknowledge peoples’ presence, and appreciate everyone who is there. I realize it’s must more time efficient to just say “HEY GUYS!” when you walk in and start getting chummy with your closest friend, but what a difference it would make to actually say “Hi” and greet everybody who is there. Let’s see how this goes.
2. Relying on humans for directions
I’ll even take this farther and say relying on humans instead of machines for everything (or whenever possible). One thing I love about traveling in Paraguay (and probably the ONLY thing, since public transportation isn’t all that dreamy to begin with) is you can get to your destination without having a clue where it is, or where you are. For the most part, I just tell bus drivers where I want to go and they make sure to drop me off right in front of it. If I don’t ask the bus driver, I ask strangers and they always, always, always give me directions (but I’ve learned to ask multiple people because their directions aren’t always correct!). Anyway, my point here is asking people for things isn’t scary! I feel comfortable to ask anyone sitting on a bus, or anyone on the street for directions and I never have to pull out my phone to look something up (chances are it wouldn’t show up on the map anyway).
This is something I want to take with me back home. I want to be able to continue to interact with other humans for help, instead of asking Siri (or who’s that new gal, Alexis?). I also want to reciprocate this and be more open and willing to help others around me. I don’t want to shy away from human contact, and although I should maybe take a little more caution when it comes to approaching strangers, I want to continue to openly ask for help and (hopefully) give it back.
I’ll give one other example of this. My friend Paul’s electricity blew in his house the other day, and he’s been stranded in the dark (sorry, Paul!). His landlords were unable to provide him with much help, and they told him to find an electrician. What did he do? Well, he couldn’t google “electricians near me” so instead he went door to door to ask his neighbors if they knew anyone. They eventually sent him to somebody’s house who actually was an electrician, and he showed up saying “Help me” and then BOOM, he had electricity again.
Now, I understand this may not be the most efficient way to do things back home. But I think you get the idea. Human interaction is still important. We don’t need to rely on apps and and technology for EVERYTHING. Somethings we can still do on our own with a little human interaction. That’s all. I want to keep doing that (when I can).
3. Sitting and doing NOTHING
Yes, this is something I learned how to do, and something I want to keep on doing. Let me explain. In the United States, people are constantly doing SOMETHING. If you’re sitting at home you’re watching TV, eating, looking at your phone, reading, working etc. If you call a friend up to hang out, you make plans to DO something, you go out somewhere, eat somewhere, etc. But in Paraguay, you literally just sit.
Another explanation: Imagine a family get together with your family. Maybe it’s the holidays and your extended family is there. Maybe it’s a long weekend, hey maybe it’s just a Sunday and no one is at work. Anyway, imagine a time where everyone is in your house. What is everyone doing? Somebody is cooking something, the TV is on, someone is reading or catching up on work, your phones are out, you’re looking something up, etc.. Eventually you decide to maybe leave your house, you decide to go out to dinner, or see some type of show, or go out bowling, or you head out to show your relatives something touristy, or you have a groupon for some sort of activity. etc.
My point is, you aren’t just sitting there staring at each other all weekend long.
Oh but in Paraguay, you would be. Family will come over from all over the country, for a day, a weekend, or even a full summer, and guess what is on the agenda? Sitting in chairs in the shade, passing around some cold tea, and talking to each other. Sometimes there’s silence. Lots of times its silent. That’s okay. But you sit. All day. Maybe a beer gets passed around. You eat lunch. Then guess what? You go back to sitting. Eventually the shade moves and you have to move your chair to a different spot in the shade. But that’s it. You sit, and you enjoy each others’ company.
Now, personally, I think this is great. Yes, it can get a bit boring at times (and by a bit I mean a lot), but the concept of sitting and chatting is very, very important. Whenever I go visit another volunteer, do you know what we end up doing? Sitting and talking, for hours. Hours can pass and we won’t turn on a TV (not that any of us have a TV to turn on if we wanted to) or get up and do something. It’s nice sometimes to just sit and chat.
So yes, this is something that I want to continue doing when I go back home. I want to force my family and my friends to sit with me, perhaps over a coffee (or I’ll share some terere) and literally just sit and chat with me. For hours. Or however long I can get somebody to sit with me for…..
Moral of this overly long drawn out example, I want to be comfortable and relaxed enough to slow down and just sit some times. I don’t always need to be physically doing something, and I want to keep this up.
4. Taking the time to chat
This one seems pretty self explainable. Let’s say I want to plan a project with someone or even if I’m asking for a favor from someone, I can’t just say “Hey XXX, can you help me with YYY?” No. That’s rude. I should stop by this person’s house/office and sit down and catch up with them and chat for a bit. Then, once we’ve been chatting for a bit, I can bring up the business. At first, I always just wanted to get straight to business and jump into the “work” conversations. This didn’t go too well, as you had to develop a relationship with someone before you were able to actually work together on anything.
This is something I want to take with me, I want to take the time to develop relationships with those I am working with.
5. Drinking terere
Do you all know what terere is by now? I feel like I’ve mentioned it in all of my blog posts. I’ll explain it one last time for those who don’t pay attention or for those who are new, it’s loose leaf yerba mate tea that you drink out of a metal straw that doubles as a strainer with ice cold water. Aka, it’s iced tea you drink out of a fancy straw. You can also drink it hot, and then it’s called maté. Anyway, I love this stuff. I am going to keep buying the yerba off amazon and force everyone to drink it with me.
TOP 5 HABITS that should not come with me:
I don’t think I need to explain this one, you guys are already probably cringing at the thought of me doing this. I’ll try my best to reach for a napkin instead of the table cloth
2. Accepting rides from random strangers
When I was home over winter break I ran into some car troubles and found myself with a flat tire. A nice Venezuelan man helped me put on my spare and then I navigated myself over to a gas station. It was New Years Eve, and I was still determined to get into Seattle, a little car trouble can’t get in my way of making it to a party. I asked to leave my car overnight at the gas station and was about to call a Lyft to come pick me up, when a nice Indian man who worked at the gas station offered to drive me. I thanked him profusely, and without hesitation I hopped into his car. It wasn’t until halfway into the ride he said to me “You know, I’m really surprised you accepted my offer, most women would be terrified to get into the car of a strange, brown man.” I laughed and told him I had been hitch hiking for two years down the Paraguayan red dirt roads, but then thought to myself that maybe he was right, maybe I shouldn’t hitchhike anymore.
3. Sharing drinks with total strangers
Again, completely normal for someone I don’t really know to pass me a beer, take a sip out of it, and pass it on. This seems like something I shouldn’t do out at the bars back home…
4. Showing up late to things
If I show up to anything on time here, I can expect to wait around for up to an hour for the rest of the group to show up. It’s become a habit to show up at “hora paraguaya” or on Paraguayan time, slightly late to save myself the awkward waiting, party of one. But I still can hear that American phrase ringing in my head that says “early is on time, on time is late, and late is unacceptable.” Is that still a thing? If so, I should probably set my watch ahead and get used to being (early) on time to things.
5. Not leaving my house in the rain
Yes, you read that right. When it rains I do not leave my house. School is cancelled. Meetings are cancelled. Nothing happens when it rains. Mainly this is because I live on a dirt road and it becomes completely unpassable in the rain. Also it’s because we are afraid of the rain here and think we may melt. Anyway, I have a weird feeling that if I don’t show up to class in medical school when it’s raining my professor may not consider that a valid excuse. So, I will have to get used to going out in the rain after two years of spending rainy days cancelling all plans and binge watching Friends from my hard drive.
ALRIGHT, so this list turned out a little bit longer than I thought, but I had fun with it. I can’t believe that I’ve been in Paraguay for over two years and my time is actually coming to an end. I think I have something like 50 or so more days left before I close my service officially, which means that out of my 822 days I’ve completed like 772. CRAZY.
Anyway, I’ll be sure to do some more reflecting soon, and I’ll try to get a couple more blogs up before I finish my service and fill you guys in on my plans post- peace corps.